I've never been more serious. You have a father who loves you and wants to spend time with you. You have a right to know your own father. I'll say it again: You have a right to know your father. It kills me that other people are trampling on your rights. Some kids have no father because their dad isn’t interested. But I’m intensely interested in your life. Let me show you how proud I am of you. I remember you being smart and funny and a little twisted. And I mean that as a compliment. I really miss you. We've been torn apart. And for what? It’s time for us to re-connect.
And we’re closer than you think. Every time you eat breakfast, just remember you could be having lunch with me the next day.
We’ll have fun. We’ll run out of time before we run out of things to do. The World Expo in Dubai will be going on when you visit.
In the past, the World Expo was called the World’s Fair. Every few years for the past 120 years, a different city in the world would host a World's Fair. They're giant expositions to show-off the latest, most wonderful things humans have made in art, music, fashion, technology and science. In 2020, the World's Fair -- or Expo, as they call it -- was in Dubai. But it got delayed a year because of COVID.
Please take a few minutes to watch THIS video and also THIS video about the Expo (if you have time, THIS one too).
A few years ago, I took your mother to the famous Louvre Museum in Paris. Guess what? The Lourve now has a museum in Abu Dhabi that we can visit. TAKE A LOOK .
What else? I can teach you to ski inside a mall. We can go camping in the desert, visit the Grand Mosque, have camel rides, try the world’s fastest rollercoaster, go kayaking, go shopping... Anything you want. But mostly we’ll get to know each other again. When Morey was your age, I could still visit Lynchburg, and she and I would sometimes sneak out of the house at 3:00 AM to go to IHOP to get pancakes and tell jokes. There is so much I want to tell you. I can tell you stories about your mother that would make you laugh. And stories about Hawaii and Morey. I want to show you photos and tell you about some of the things I’ve seen and done in the past 13 years. It’s sad that my life disconnected from yours so long ago, but there’s a chance to re-connect our lives. And, I found an IHOP in Dubai. I’d love to sneak out with you at 3:00 AM for pancakes.
I’ll get us a hotel. I always liked THIS hotel in Abu Dhabi. I used to have meetings there. It’s comfortable. It has two pools and the food is great. I know you’re not a child anymore. I expect to get a suite so you’d have your own private bedroom and bathroom.
Every kind of food you want is in Abu Dhabi. Every morning and every night, the hotel has a large buffet with foods that you will recognize and enjoy. TAKE A LOOK . But one of the fun things to do in Abu Dhabi is explore the downtown food stalls where you can find food from all over the world. The Egyptian food stalls, for example, let you pick out your own fish and they’ll cook it on-the-spot. And to be sure, there’s also Olive Garden, Pizza Hut, Starbucks and McDonald’s.
Sadly, no Chick-Fil-A.
No. I don’t have a new wife or girlfriend. It will be just you and me. But I know you might get tired of being with me 24/7. A friend of mine in Abu Dhabi has a 15-year old daughter. I’m sure you two could go shopping and have lunch together if you wanted a break from me. And there are few better places in the world to shop. The largest malls in the world are in Dubai and Abu Dhabi.
I looked up the crime statistics. Dubai and Abu Dhabi are NINE TIMES safer than Virginia. When I lived on Reem Island in Abu Dhabi, I would often see women walking alone, at night, unafraid.
Moreover, you’re my daughter. I would never let harm come to you.
No. Some Muslim women choose to cover themselves, but it’s strictly voluntary. Some places insist that everyone dresses “respectfully”. But women can wear shorts, T-shirts, open-toe shoes, bathing suits and dresses that reveal their shoulders. There are beaches and swimming pools in Abu Dhabi, and it’s no different than beaches and pools in Virginia.
Dubai and Abu Dhabi are probably the most Westernized Muslim cities in the world. It’s not as if we’re going to the Kingdom of Saud (KSA). I cannot get a visa in your passport to visit KSA. Even if I could, I would never take you there. I’m always a little nervous when I’m there, and always happy to leave.
Are you kidding? December is the perfect month to visit Abu Dhabi. The weather is so mild, you can eat every meal outdoors and go swimming in the afternoons. December is before the rainy season and certainly before the heat of the summer. The summers are crazy-stupid-hot. Popcorn will pop if you leave it in your car in the summertime. Some men work outdoors, but it’s forbidden by law to force someone to work outdoors between noon and 2:00 PM in the summertime. When it gets to 122 degrees, it’s completely forbidden to work outdoors.
Believe me, December is the time to visit.
This is nonsense. Of course I will send you back home. I never threatened to kidnap my children. I never objected to you living in Lynchburg with your mother. Your mother needs to give her permission, and there are ways she can restrict your travel to only Abu Dhabi for a few days. I have no place for you to live. I move around too much. There's no way I can raise a daughter here.
I can get you a 30-day Visitor visa for Abu Dhabi, but after that, you would be compelled to go home; the immigration officers in Abu Dhabi would enforce that. I would have no choice. Your mother could do this for you if she wants to. If your mother is worried that she’ll never see you again, she should consider my perspective: I am already living with “never seeing you again”.
You won’t be completely alone. When you check-in, the airline will assign you a “handler” who will be sure your questions are answered and that you get on the plane. It’s a non-stop flight from Washington DC. You can’t get lost. The flight attendants on the plane are friendly and will look after any young girl flying alone.
So what? Who cares? Even if told her, she’d think of some other reason to say ‘no’. Lawyers make money when people fight or worry. So, they encourage everyone to fight and worry, even if children get hurt. Did you know that your mother encouraged me to travel outside of the USA with you and Morey in 2013, even after we agreed to divorce? But as soon as the lawyers started arguing about money, then suddenly her lawyer thought of this new idea that I’m a kidnapper. Pardon my French, but it’s bullshit.
Whatever. Your mom’s lawyer also said I hit my kids and set their house on fire (the house on Old Trents Ferry Road). Papa Bear owned that house. He told the judge the fire was accidental. The fire department also said it was an accident. Your aunt Kimberly testified in court, too. She said I never hit my kids. So, whom will you believe? Some sleazeball Mountain Dew lawyer who’s paid to lie? Or the people in your family who love you?
Some people feel useful when they think they’re protecting children. But sometimes they can’t tell when children don’t need protection.
I don’t trust her either, but we all have to start somewhere, right? Do you remember going to South Carolina to see the eclipse? I paid for that. I paid for the flights and the apartment. I want my girls to see great things and have a nice life. I wanted you to experience something amazing. Your mother was worried that it was all some complicated plan to hurt you.
Here’s something to consider: 700 years ago, a man named Occam was one of the smartest men in Medieval England. He famously said that, when you’re trying to understand something that’s uncertain, the simplest explanation is usually the right one. So, ask yourself: Have I been constructing elaborate plans to hurt you for the past eight years? Did I set a house on fire from way over in Abu Dhabi in such a way that I fooled the fire department? Or am I just a loving father who wants to see his daughter? I never stopped loving you. But mom’s lawyers need to keep changing their story to fit the facts. My story never changed.
You and I have been unfairly separated. How in the world can I wish for this? I never wanted to be torn apart from you. I was there when you were born. I want to be close to you until the last beat of my heart.
I was forced out of your life. I could not explain this before; you were too young to understand. But I always wanted to get your Skype calls. When they stopped, I made a website FULL OF PHOTOS, hoping that you would Google your own name and find it. HERE is a copy. Then, I sent you THIS letter (with these photos) and THIS letter. Then, I sent you photos. I sent you FLOWERS . I sent you stupid little toys, just to remind you I was thinking of you. Morey spoke to me last summer, but she refused to let me talk to you.
A few months ago, I watched a movie with the actress Iris Apatow. She reminded me of you. In the movie, her character was always fighting with her sister (the actress playing her sister was her real-life sister). The movie was funny, but it cuts me to the bone. I'm reminded how much I miss you and Morey. I sent you a link to a video showing Iris Apatow. Here IT IS AGAIN .
Convince her. When your mother was a teenager, Nana Lee allowed her to visit Papa Bear when he lived far away. Ask them if you don’t believe it.
I’m not asking for anything more than what your mom enjoyed when she was young. Nana Lee never let some Mountain Dew lawyer decide when your mom could see her dad.
Great! Then stop in Abu Dhabi on your way back home for New Year’s Eve. Go around the world. I've done it before. A few years ago, I was in Hawaii to start a new job, but I was offered a better job in Abu Dhabi. So, I flew from Honolulu to Abu Dhabi. It's a bit long. The plane had to stop in South Korea for fuel. But I got to fly completely around the world. I just kept going west until I got back to where I started.
Your mom’s lawyer is from the same small town where Mountain Dew was invented. Personally, I think that’s pretty funny. I grew up in the same small town where Amelia Bloomer grew up. Bloomers are named after her. Do you even know what they are? Look it up. She was also the first woman in America to own a newspaper.
Abraham Lincoln’s presidential secretary also grew up in my hometown. It’s not much, but there are a million dumb little stories I can tell you over pancakes at IHOP at 3:00 AM in Dubai.
E-mail me at becker8192@gmail.com
Sophia: If you give me a phone number to call, I'm happy to call you back. You can always call my USA voicemail number to leave me a message: (423) 244-0448.
SMS or WhatsApp: +971 50 377 1969
(the plus sign is required)
Want to send me mail?
PO Box 25246, Chattanooga, TN 37422
Skype? My username is flag.fish
(note the dot between ‘flag’ and ‘fish’)
Zoom works better overseas. If you use Zoom, I can set-up a Zoom call for us.
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